What not to say to a depressed person — and what to say instead

Families often say the wrong thing because they are frightened. They try motivation, comparison, spirituality or future threats. The depressed person hears: you are failing at being helped.

Avoid 'others have it worse', 'just be positive', 'go for a walk', 'think of your parents', 'you have everything', or 'stop overthinking'. These statements increase shame and make the person less likely to disclose risk.

Say: 'I am here.' 'You do not have to explain perfectly.' 'Can I sit with you?' 'Have you eaten?' 'Can we book help together?' Offer specific support: food, appointment, transport, sitting quietly, checking in tomorrow. Ask directly about suicide if you are worried.

If the person mentions wanting to die, being a burden, giving things away, or has a plan, do not leave them alone. Call Tele-MANAS 14416, emergency 112, or take them to urgent care. Kindness must become action when risk is present.