How do I cope with grief after losing someone?

Answered by Dr. Nitnem Singh Sodhi · Consultant Psychologist & Psychotherapist · Updated 2026-05-23

Short answer

Grief has no schedule. The healthiest path is to feel it in waves rather than push it away — protect sleep and basic routines, accept help, and avoid major life decisions for 6–12 months. If grief feels frozen or worsens after 6 months, please seek clinical support.

Grief is not a problem to solve. It is a process to walk through, and walking it badly — by avoiding it — is what causes most of the long-term harm.

What healthy grief looks like

Waves of intense feeling alternating with periods of normal functioning. Tears that come unexpectedly. Memories that ambush you. Slow rebuilding of meaning over months and years. None of this is pathology.

What slows healing

Avoidance (alcohol, overwork, distraction). Major life decisions in the first 6–12 months. Isolation from people who knew the person. Pretending you are fine.

When to seek help

Grief that feels frozen, worsening after 6 months, or accompanied by suicidal thoughts is called complicated grief. It responds well to specific therapy. Please reach out.

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