How do I help someone with depression?

Answered by Dr. Nitnem Singh Sodhi · Consultant Psychologist & Psychotherapist · Updated 2026-05-05

Short answer

Listen without trying to fix. Don't say 'just be positive' or 'others have it worse'. Help them keep small daily structures (sleep, meals, sunlight). Gently support them to see a professional. You are not their therapist; you are their anchor.

Loving someone through depression is hard, and most people quietly burn out trying. Here is what actually helps, drawn from years of family work in clinic.

What helps

Listen without trying to solve. Sit with them in the difficulty rather than pulling them out of it. Help maintain the boring scaffolding — sleep times, meals, daylight, a short walk. Offer to come with them to the first appointment. Stay in regular, low-pressure contact even when they don't reply quickly.

What hurts (even when well-intended)

'Just think positive.' 'Others have it worse.' 'You have so much to be grateful for.' 'Snap out of it.' These phrases land as judgement to a depressed brain, even when love is behind them.

Look after yourself too

You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you are the primary support person, you also need your own support system. Take the K10 yourself if your bandwidth feels low. Caring for the carer is part of the treatment plan.

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