I think my friend is suicidal — what do I say to them tonight?
Answered by Dr. Nitnem Singh Sodhi · Mental Health Counsellor, Neuropsychologist & Psychotherapist · Updated 2026-04-17
Short answer
Ask the direct question: 'Are you thinking about ending your life?' It does not plant the idea — it relieves the burden of carrying it alone. Stay present, do not promise secrecy, remove access to means if possible, and connect them to Tele-MANAS 14416 or iCall 9152987821 the same night.
If you are reading this in the middle of a worried evening, here is what to do tonight, in order. The clinical advice is simple and unglamorous, and it works.
Ask the direct question, exactly
Sit somewhere quiet with them. Make eye contact. Say: 'I love you and I need to ask you something directly. Are you thinking about ending your life?' Then stop talking and let them answer. The single most evidence-based thing you can do is ask the direct question. It does not plant the idea — every meta-analysis on this is unambiguous. It tells the person that the most frightening thing they are carrying is now allowed in the room.
What to do with the answer
If the answer is yes, do not panic, do not lecture, do not promise to keep it secret. Stay present. Ask: 'Do you have a plan? Do you have access to anything that could be used?' If yes, gently and concretely separate them from access — pills locked elsewhere, a sharp object handed to you, a relative asked to hold something for the night. Sit with them. Do not leave them alone tonight.
The numbers that work tonight in India
Tele-MANAS — 14416 or 1800-891-4416. Free, 24×7, government-run, available in 20+ languages. iCall — 9152987821. Mon–Sat, 8am–10pm, trained counsellors. AASRA — 9820466726. 24×7. Vandrevala Foundation — 1860-2662-345. 24×7. Use any of these tonight. Calling with the friend on speaker, or together on a video call, is often easier than handing them the phone.
What to do tomorrow
Help them book a clinician for this week. Drive them, sit with them in the waiting room, sit with them in the consult if invited. The first 72 hours after a disclosure are the highest-leverage window for a real intervention. The AI Psychologist on this site is available now and can help triage; a consultation with a clinician should follow within days, not weeks.
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